feet

Walking up Boundary street towards Vulture last saturday night and a mother and daughter walk past going the other way. Matching clothes, Mum is all in white with gold trim, Gucci written in gold glitter across t-shirt, hot pants, very long legs, white high heels. She says to daughter who is about 8 years old. How can your feet be hurting your wearing shoes?
In other words dont listen to your experience, your body, move over into the preconceived notion of how its supposed to be and dont listen to the experience of how it is.
This splitting from experience is exacerbated by science. Its time to listen to our bodies first.

Cities voice

On the corner of Brunswick street and St Pauls Terrace in the Valley opposite the appropriatly named Valley Five Ways Building there was a small public park. Seats, two trees ...I think, plants . It was pretty ordinary, disenchanted, yes, and not without potential. Yesterday I walked past and the entire lot has disapeared and its been completly laid over with concrete. I felt a wave of energy pushing me away from it as I walked past. As if the grief of the place was protesting in anger at her violation. No consultation, no conversation. Just destroy and lay a rigid pre-conceived idea of function, or whatever is fashionable in the collective mind of Brisbane Council town planning I assume , over the top. The voice of the city is not being listened too and she is cranky!

flamingos

Christina at Flamingos (in the Valley)was in the paper as one of the most stylish people in Bris. No arguments with that she is hot, hot, hot !

war

Its time to wage carnivale not war. To put the passion, fury and creativity and commitment that goes into war into celebrating life in all its forms.

50 years

I heard it said on the weekend that it takes 50 years to change a culture. I think that with the appropriate resouces I could kick start a revolution that will create a highly significant change in cultural direction by 2020. 10 years. Anything less will bring too dire a consequences in the future. I have the vison, the passion and the will. Most important is the evolving vision. It will be Australia and Australians that lead the change.

masks

I have given away a lot of masks as a way of connectting to people I like or just people in general. I am going to get into painting mask in a more serious fashion. They are a art form in and of themselves. I want to go more deeply into them, my way.

Blackstar

Saw three guys playing guitars and bass and singing together at blackstar on Saturday night. They were great. No idea who they were.

62 spring street

I found a house for sale at 62 Spring Street West End. Its made up of 3 seperate self contained one bedroom units. I would love to use the first one as a office, counselling room, art studio, and join the back two together and live there. It also has a big backyard and garage/ art workshop and really cool area under trees at the front. It would be perfect for us, my family and enable me to connect deeply with the West End community. I feel the soul of the place calling me to put down roots.. I want to live in West End so much. I am ready to work. To be in service to the city. I have my purpose and role now. I have been waiting all my life for this. The place was going for $960000. You would need at least more then a million to then renovate. That money I dont have right now and I am beleiving its going to flow in quickly.
I had to laugh at the synchronicity of 62 being the year I was born and Spring describing the revolution I long to bring forth. And of cause Rachel Carson wrote Silent Spring in 62. That theme has been such a important influence. It all circles and loops around. What will happen next? Maybe nothing, maybe something amazing or something ordinary? who knows?

glue

A coalition of countries is getting together to just take action on climate change. Yes! about time.This is leadership. Just begining something with whoever agress with you. Just begin ! and let it evolve.
Now what really got me was this quote by Michael Grubb member of British government advisory body on Emissions, There has to be some sort of glue to thold the coalition together. Yes I agree totally . To hold together such a diverse range of cultures there has to be something inbetween that connects, joins and facilitates flow in the same direction. This is exactly what Alchemical Carnivale is is in the business of making between diverse groups of people. Social glue. Glutem Mundi, the glue of the world. Mr Grubb like the Western world is inbetween. He knows where change neeeds to occur but he is still vague as to how to do it. He continues... The glue would have to involve some form of cooperation on carbon pricing, trade and financial measures.
This new as yet unknown form of cooperation will be Australias gift to the world. Its whats brewing in the belly of my Carnivale beast.

Glutem Mundi

The alchemists had this phrase Glutem Mundi or the glue of the world, the world glue.
I think about this a lot. What is it that glues people together? That enables them to stick together, especially in crisis ? Culture? Shared experince, our collective dreaming, language, our common humanity. I think when a group parties together the glue is made. In the process of laughing, dancing, telling stories, sweating, eating, loving, fucking, listening, and crying together, the glue is made. For me Alchemical Carnivale is a space that makes social glue. We just pump it out!!
By inviting people to incarnate a character connectted to myth and astrology and to enter a space where the normal rules and conventions are set aside for a time, where people laugh, and love and create with a passionate intensity. This enables the bonds between, the spaces inbetween people to thicken with shared experience, story, exchange, energy, shared reactions, immersed in the sound, colour, rythm, together, the glutem mundi that envelops, bathes the world is deepend into and honoured.
for this we give thanks. Amen. Rock n Roll

Daddy Loops

The Doctor met Daddy at the West End Markets and last saturday my performance seemed to take a leap. I felt that the circle widened and now it can widen even further.

moon

Beautiful full moon in scorpio last night. I wandered from the valley to brisbane under the lunar influence. Soft, and circling, opening me to possibilities.

going bugs

I am convinced the insects are attempting to commincate with us and why not?? Its all about paying attention. About being slowed down enough to notice that this bug, beetle, wasp, bee...has arrived as this thought was in my head or its presence is leading me out of my thoughts to the here and now, the present moment.
This is where the action really is, right here and now...preferably under the sun, the sky, the clouds, feeling the wind, and hearing the sounds, songs of the birds. For me its returning home. I want more of my life outside. Its a calling . The world is calling me out . To notice and care for her in no matter what way. But most importantly is to just notice her, her beauty and life force wether in birds, trees, clouds, or people, clothes, paintings, books. Its like theres just to much beauty that i have had to shut it out??? That sounds bizzare? but true. I am having a awakening to beauty or Venus, Aphrodite. It feels like a earthquake.

rule breaking

What the world needs now is a nation that is preapared to break the rules! I have seen the future and its Australia : the rule breaker. White Australia was born in between the two great periods of rule breaking, the French revolution and the American revolution. Its no coincidence that Uranus was discovered at the same time. In astrology Uranus symbolises revolution, rule breaking, rebellion, lightning fast change and electricity. Uranus is the Cosmic trickster. Rule breaking is deeply entrenched in our culture as is Saturn the rule keeper and traditionalist . We are a strange mixture. This is our moment to step onto the world stage and lead. Long live the trickster nation: Australia

Pan-perceptual revolution

The revolution thats coming has to be about our relationship with the All or Pan. Pan in Greek mythology the half Goat, half man connects to the All, to everything. Pan supposedly died in the second century as Chrisitiantiy rose to power. I cannot help but think the Roman empire played apart as well. Nonetheless something changed in western consciousness that we are now reaping . Its a very bitter legacy. Its our perception that must change. From seeing the All as basically dead to alive. Its all alive and everything is in relationship with everything else. This will be the Pan-perceptual revolution. The way we look at everything must change, anything less is only rearranging the deck chairs on the Titianc. I am not into attacking capitalism, and all its ills as important as that may be. I want to begin a revolution in perception first. Then the rest will follow.

Mbah Maridjan

Ten years ago I had a big dream of a shit volcanoe emerging out of the earth. Later I discovered and fell in love with Fingal Headland which is volcanic rock from the long extinct Mt Warning volcanoe.
In the past few weeks I have been grieving the loss of Mbah Maridjan the mystic keeper of Mount Merapi the volcanoe thats still erupting.
Today I was teaching group work and during a exercise my relationship with Fingal came up and I felt some intense emotion that I still struggle to understand. It feels like a force of nature is pushing through me now. There is a intense sadness and excitement as my old identity is dying( fast) and the new is being born. I wish I had met Mbah as I feel a real kinship with him. He would of understood me and in some ways he feels like the spiritual father I have been seeking. I now feel that I have a resposibility to honour him and make sure his legacy is known. Bizzare as its sounds I feel that Brisbane wants me as its mystic keeper? Someone who attends to the soul of the city. In some way thats what he Mysterius Doctor Mercurius is about.

Finding my spot.

Kazman suggested I dance outside the Commonwealth bank in west end. On the circles. Last thursdy night I wandered down there and sure enought the circles are there and the space is just amazing. I spent about 3 hours in the Doctor mode. I ritually emptied everthing I had on me and placed it around the circle. I felt hat I had come home that this was my spot, my power spot or at least one of them. Bizzare that I had never seen it before. I met people and experienced a whole range of things. 3 violent episodes occured around midnight. The experience was one thats really hard to put into words. All I know was that it was deeply magical and will live with me as one of those incredibly special moments. And there was a sadness and a joy in being alone.This thursday I plan to go again hopefully with others.

Re- volt

Psychology needs a re- volt. Sooooo much! As a discipline its tied itself up in scientific knots that dont serve the people it supposed to help. I try to be balanced about it but I cant be. If ever there is a discipline crying out for a revolution. It will have to come from women, it will have to come from women...

alone

For a while on the weekend I felt really fulfilled and that loneliness, the curse of loneliness lifted for a while...or I accepted it a bit more. This is what it means to be a leader. To just be crazy and not care and be alone and it be ok. To not be craving to be understood, to be known. Ive met so many good kind hearted people in the past 3 weeks. No one really knows me that well and its ok. I know people care thats enough. I wish I could just let go óf that pain, let it flow through me and out. Lonely suffering once had a sort of romantic feel to it. I am done with it , time to leave it behind.

powerless

Sometimes I feel so powerful. Last weekend I did, sooo confident and right. And then I go back into the counselling, therapy world and it slips away...and I begin to feel powerless and then the great obstacle of scientific thinking, everything has to be evidence based , medical model...ahhhhh!! I begin to feel like I am crazy and I think about planet earth and all the suffering and it overwhelms me. I feel such rage, such rage. I want to yell and scream and make outrageous statements that will shake things up.Thats not the way to change things, it just alienates people I know....
I have to remind myself that the birds have welcomed me, crazy as it sounds at moments I feel like the king of the birds, And thats home. I really want my heart to open up more, to allow more in , more pain, more joy and more everything and let out the things in my heart and mind. Thoughts, feelings, images, dreams , desires..sooo much stuff.

Performing

The Mysterius Doctor Mercurius has been wandering, performing around west end ...some people get it , some dont. Usually people from other cultures get it faster. Its so fascinating, I learn so much each time, even if its only a few minutes that I have the mask on. Some energy just flows through and the words come out and then its over. I have learnt that it helps to have someone to sort of earth me. If I dont I have to leave the area straight away. Sometimes the energy is so powerful I shake all over, totally electric, yahooo! I sense that I am filling some role thats been empty in our culture. Sort of like a priest, not the catholic ones , more a priest of the great mother , the cosmos. I feel in service to the communitty and to the city. I read of the mystic keeper of the volcanoe thats erupting in java. He died in service. He was in relationship with the volcanoe, what a utterly beautiful idea! sad that it sounds strange to Western ears? I felt a real kinship with him and wish I could of met him. I know there are people who understand e.g Kazman from Dubmarine who I met on sunday.Your such a soul brother.
I hang out with psychologists at work and I feel so distant from that world...I want to bridge to them but it feels so far away. When I wander and things happen and I listen to the birds and the wind and the rain and do ritual and perform I feel sooooo at home and my heart just fills up. And then I feel so shy to talk about it and doubts start creeping in...I suppose to be starting a business, I should be making money blah, blah, blah!