Have you ever left things to the last moment and then hit a threshold where you realize you now have to pull out all stops to finish whatever it is . Adrenaline or panic or some mixture often kicks in and to you surprise you get more done in a hour or a day then you have in weeks months or years? I think the entire world is fast approaching one of those moments. There is a distinct possibility that mass panic will kick in when we awaken to the fact that we are on the verge of global collapse.I prefer to hold onto the view that when this moment occurs and it will occur then it will be Australia's time to walk onto the world stage and lead the world through this crisis. Before that happens we have some work and preperation to do first.
At the heart of our looming crisis are two factors 1.Our absolute love affair with electricity. Electricity is our God, our unconscious God. We are so in love with this God and its power that we are prepared to destroy the earth. 2. The scientific attitude that seperates living from non-living. This facilitates the rape of vast areas of the earth our mother.
Any revolution that desires to bring about fundamental and radical change has to target these two attitudes, mindsets or worldviews. Not only target as in expose the fundamental lies at work but also offer living alternatives.
Revolutions have had a tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater, creating change whilst and also creating a new set of problems.
The revolution must include a deep appreciation for what and who we find revolting ! Capitalism, Patriachy, war sexism, Mining, etc all have there own internal logic that needs to be understood before it can be effectively challenged. This involves deep listening to the aspirations, hopes and dreams of those we oppose. Easier said then done. I want to begin training people in this form of revolutionary listening . For me whats called essential counselling skills or rogerian listening coupled with Astrological/archetypal awareness is the key. I plan to begin training others in this process.
A experiential encounter with Astrology is one of the best ways to kick start an ongoing intiation to a more expanded worldview. To open oneself to the possibility that the cosmos is patterned and that the position of the planets at our birth has a deep and abiding significance shakes the foundation of the older scientific worldview that clings to a notion of a meaningless universe of which humanity is a mere accident of evolution.
The creation of social electricity as a nalternative to literal electricty. Small communitty based celebrations that include music, mask and mischief. A distinct focus upon experimentaion and inclusion...to be continued.
This used to be the home of the Mysterius Doctor Mercurius...and still has reflections on Alchemical Carnivale. But it evolved as the Shed and I fell in love and begun to work on each other. Its still evolving and may contain some of this stuff: The Reenchantment of Public Spaces, Archeytpal astrology and psychology, crazed Uranian thinking, Australia, arts, creative process, Holotropic Breathwork, Jung, therapy, shape-shifting, birds and bugs and dreams and visions and more.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Religious ruminating pt 1
Walking down Boundary Street the other day I told my dear friend Gaby that I wanted to start my own religion. Thankfully she didn't fall on the ground laughing or look at my sideways as if I needed to be immediately medicated or posted off for a visit to the Pych ward. These are all my fears I guess that have stopped me from sharing whats in my heart.
Religion is currently a dirty word especially amongst intellectual and artistic circles. Even spiritual people want to distance themselves with the oft heard phrase, " I'm spiritual not religious." Well I love dirt, I love dirty words and I especially like the R word. Yes there is a childish contrary part of me that inwardly chuckles at the thought of furrowed brows and perplexed looks from my non-religious friends. More importantly is that I am convinced that the only solution to our global crisis will be at heart a religious solution. Someone has said that this century will be religious or not at all. I agree. The word religion religion has a host of meanings. One is careful as opposed to neglect. Another and the most often stated is to bind fast, to place an obligation on, the bond between humans and the Gods. For me the only way we are going to survive is if we voluntarily accept that we are bound fast to this planet, that we have to be careful with all of creation. That we realise that life places obligations on us.
Religion gives us a framework, a philosophy to join with others in order to be full of care, to accept our obligations as caretakers of this planet and it can facilitate the bond between humans and the Gods. This is what I want to build and create. Not my own private religion but one that carries on the work of many others including Marcilio Ficino Renaissance philosopher, William Blake Visionary Artist, Carl Jung Cultural Shaman, James Hillman Alchemical Psychologist and others...
All of them in their own way worked with the twin, intertwined and twisted religious legacy of the Western World :Paganism and Christianity. Jung especially saw it as his mission to darken the image of Christ via alchemy and astrology. For me his 1939 vision of an Alchemical Christ is profound and offers a symbol of the future. It puts the snake of Paganism, Alchemy and Astrology first. In his vision the Snake has digested the fish of Christianity and extended its vision. In the Christian story God, the spirit, the life force, the fire from the heavenly places comes down to earth to incarnate in humans. In Jung's vision the Spirit, the divine life force has filled not only a human being but also the mineral and vegetable kingdoms. Everything is divine and sacred. There are no artificial scientific lines drawn between living and non-living, human and subject and object, human and world. Everything is in relationship with everything else.
Thats all for now. I will return soon. Theres a book here waiting to be written. Hmmmmn don't know if I am really saying what I want to say in a way that others can feel and grasp. That's ok its begun. I am having a go. I am learning.
Religion is currently a dirty word especially amongst intellectual and artistic circles. Even spiritual people want to distance themselves with the oft heard phrase, " I'm spiritual not religious." Well I love dirt, I love dirty words and I especially like the R word. Yes there is a childish contrary part of me that inwardly chuckles at the thought of furrowed brows and perplexed looks from my non-religious friends. More importantly is that I am convinced that the only solution to our global crisis will be at heart a religious solution. Someone has said that this century will be religious or not at all. I agree. The word religion religion has a host of meanings. One is careful as opposed to neglect. Another and the most often stated is to bind fast, to place an obligation on, the bond between humans and the Gods. For me the only way we are going to survive is if we voluntarily accept that we are bound fast to this planet, that we have to be careful with all of creation. That we realise that life places obligations on us.
Religion gives us a framework, a philosophy to join with others in order to be full of care, to accept our obligations as caretakers of this planet and it can facilitate the bond between humans and the Gods. This is what I want to build and create. Not my own private religion but one that carries on the work of many others including Marcilio Ficino Renaissance philosopher, William Blake Visionary Artist, Carl Jung Cultural Shaman, James Hillman Alchemical Psychologist and others...
All of them in their own way worked with the twin, intertwined and twisted religious legacy of the Western World :Paganism and Christianity. Jung especially saw it as his mission to darken the image of Christ via alchemy and astrology. For me his 1939 vision of an Alchemical Christ is profound and offers a symbol of the future. It puts the snake of Paganism, Alchemy and Astrology first. In his vision the Snake has digested the fish of Christianity and extended its vision. In the Christian story God, the spirit, the life force, the fire from the heavenly places comes down to earth to incarnate in humans. In Jung's vision the Spirit, the divine life force has filled not only a human being but also the mineral and vegetable kingdoms. Everything is divine and sacred. There are no artificial scientific lines drawn between living and non-living, human and subject and object, human and world. Everything is in relationship with everything else.
Thats all for now. I will return soon. Theres a book here waiting to be written. Hmmmmn don't know if I am really saying what I want to say in a way that others can feel and grasp. That's ok its begun. I am having a go. I am learning.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
numbers
Last Thursday night, no it must of been Friday morning (2am) Simon and I took the streets of West end to find a spare shopping trolley to house the amps we use in performance. 2am bare feet, one glove apiece, and masks....its called exuberance. First me, then both of us were harassed by police. It must of looked bizarre and intensely suspicious from there world view. I talked them though what we were doing and it was all good. Later we reflected how two men doing that stuff is highly suspicious and strange but then if its say ten people its read as a bunch of people having fun. Big difference!! I dream of a group of people of all ages who can come together to do crazy, life affirming stuff. To stop the traffic for an hour with music and dance and serious conversations about where our culture is going. To do this in the foyer of mining company or a bank or any other number of destructive institutions. The goal being to temporarily disrupt but not in a destructive way, to raise questions and bring a sharp awareness to all involved. The earth is dying because of our actions. Its deadly serious and we all need to be reminded and start making sacrifices and changes now. Tomorrow is too late. No matter what he change is it has to begin now.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Mine, mining and raping.
The idea of anything being "mine". Of me owning anything seems to be at the heart of the issue in our relationship with the natural world. I call this act of ownership My-ning. Making something that is free "Mine". Its a form of rape. We see something we want; those minerals buried under the earth, that piece of land, that persons body and we take it. That the whole Western world is built so firmly upon this principle means we are all in it. Its like our collective primal taboo. Th e secret we dare not discuss. We have all built our lives on the rape of our mother earth and o n the rape of others. Its already been done and it continues to be done. We all turn a blind eye. It can only continue whilst we turn a blind eye.By rape I mean literally and metaphorically. We are all rapists! Male or female we are all complicit. Admitting the truth is the beginning of wisdom and healing. Imagine if nothing or at least a whole lot less things where mine and instead ours. Turn off the critics for a minute or two and just imagine.
The Mystic Guy in the Shed
At the beginning of the year I had a sort of volcanic eruption. A death-rebirth. I moved to Highgate Hill and begun creating the Alchemical Shed. Its a space that's been evolving since and is really only open for the business of cultural healing now. Its so exciting to have a space in which I can be always relate to the elements of nature. The shed has only 3 walls so is open too the natural world constantly.
I just cannot practice therapy indoors anymore and pretend that our cultural relationship with the natural world is not at the root of all, yes all, psychological issues. It is! Heal this and and our culture can begin to heal and the possibility of a new era of world healing ushers onto the stage.
In fact I have declared war on this old and out-dated attitude, worldview. philosophy to the natural world. The worldview or epistemology that can divide the world into living and non-living is a worldview that is crazy and will destroy us. I don't want to destroy people only the way of thinking. Destroy it with humour and creativity.
I just cannot practice therapy indoors anymore and pretend that our cultural relationship with the natural world is not at the root of all, yes all, psychological issues. It is! Heal this and and our culture can begin to heal and the possibility of a new era of world healing ushers onto the stage.
In fact I have declared war on this old and out-dated attitude, worldview. philosophy to the natural world. The worldview or epistemology that can divide the world into living and non-living is a worldview that is crazy and will destroy us. I don't want to destroy people only the way of thinking. Destroy it with humour and creativity.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
revolution pt 1
The revolution begins when we honour our experince. The reality of what our bodies experince. It sounds so simple yet the most basic, primal, universal experince of being alive is to be present as the Sun rises. Just do it. You can be blind deaf and dumb and your body will register the move from night today. Do it and be aware of what you experience at the beggining of a totally new day created by this great ball of fire rising up in the sky above. It is truly a magnificent, awe inspiring and mysterious experince to reflect upon. Our culture all but ignores this wondrous daily event? The revolution begins by honouring it.
Its no surprise that in many cultures the Sun is a God. Look into the face of the Sun long enough and you will be blinded. Stand in the presence of the Sun especially in Queensland and you will be burnt. The Sun gives light and life t oeverything. Not a bad defintion of a God! The big three montheistic religions Christianity, Judainm and Islam all dispute this and they are part of the problem. Science too disputes this and is as rigid as any religion in its own way. Science denies our primary experience of the Sun rising and will not accept any alternative. Science wont allow both and, so we have to take sides and split between the head and the body. I prefer to honour the experince of the Sun rising whilst also honouring science telling me that the Sun is indeed fixed and its the earth moving.
The enlightenment moved the source of light from the Sun out there to Reason inside our head. Its a man thing and thats caused us huge problems too this day. Honouring the Sun is the beggining of an Astrological perception. The revolution will be Astrological!
Its no surprise that in many cultures the Sun is a God. Look into the face of the Sun long enough and you will be blinded. Stand in the presence of the Sun especially in Queensland and you will be burnt. The Sun gives light and life t oeverything. Not a bad defintion of a God! The big three montheistic religions Christianity, Judainm and Islam all dispute this and they are part of the problem. Science too disputes this and is as rigid as any religion in its own way. Science denies our primary experience of the Sun rising and will not accept any alternative. Science wont allow both and, so we have to take sides and split between the head and the body. I prefer to honour the experince of the Sun rising whilst also honouring science telling me that the Sun is indeed fixed and its the earth moving.
The enlightenment moved the source of light from the Sun out there to Reason inside our head. Its a man thing and thats caused us huge problems too this day. Honouring the Sun is the beggining of an Astrological perception. The revolution will be Astrological!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Black sun
I first painted a stylized image of the Black Sun about 5 years ago.It returns every now and then. I have begun doing small versions in pen and charcoal almost daily. It feel like I am giving birth to something deep within thats about something in our culture not just my psychology.
Work?
No money...the romantic notion of the starving artist is just that. The reality aint a lot of fun. There is work I could do and yet some incredibly stubborn part of me is still holding out beleiving, hoping that my true work will emerge some how. I need nothing less then a miracle.
I am holding onto the idea that everthing is perfect and that I am here to learn a really important lesson and that when I have learnt it new things will flow from there.
I am holding onto the idea that everthing is perfect and that I am here to learn a really important lesson and that when I have learnt it new things will flow from there.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Fusion
I met Neil Barringham? today at A place to belong a communitty agency offering support to people suffering with mental illness. He had been a gung ho Christian in his youth and had come through the experince and arrived at a far differnt place. We knew friends in common and he had done some training with people from Fusion whom I had trained with as well. It was great to share with someone who could understand what can sound like crazines to the unititiated. I worked with Fusion for over ten years sacrificing lots to the greater cause and then coming out and facing years of bewilderement. Now I am proud of my idealism, my faith and hope and passion albeit misguided. Astrology gives me a wider perspective. It feels like the wheel is turning full circle.
Basics
Sleeping on a lounge in a garage...getting a decent meal most days. No car , no computer ...badly need a haircut. Yet feeling inspired? Applied for the dole which felt like a defeat but necessary to survive. Spent my last bit of money on business cards today. A gamble that I am prepared to make. I am committted to keep writing and start counselling and doing charts. Its what I can offer to the communitty that is tangible and people have appreciated it in the past. My attempts at starting counselling practice have failed in the past. The business side has always eluded me but here we go again. This time feels different. I have no great expectations. The last months have humbled me ...lots.
Tobacco
If you have ever seen the movie Dead Man starring Johhny Depp as William Blake the accountant, you will remember the strange thread running through out the movie where he is asked three seperate times, Do you have any tobbacco? Each time he answers, no he doesnt smoke. Saturday night I was in West End for the Riders on the Storm concert at Blackstar. Twice I was asked by complete strangers, would I like a cigarette? and I answered, no I dont smoke. After the second time I thought how strange this was and I reflected on what it might mean in light of the movie. In the movie no definate meaning is given, but that said tobacco is a sacred substance for Native American Indians and is used in ceremony e.g the peace pipe. As William Blake is in a liminal state or a transformational moment it could be that the tobbaco is to further that process. Except he keeps on being literal and misses the moment. I reflected on this and thought if I am asked a third time I will say something like, no I dont smoke but yes I would like some tobbacco, and then work out what to do with it next. As it turned out I was asked a third time but I instincively said no I dont smoke! It was in a crowd and there was music and I missed the moment! This has never occured before and I am still contemplating what it might mean?
Astrologically Neptune is still sitting opposite my Sun and this is dissolving any defensiveness I have. I feel more opened up and aware and for want of better words spiritual then I have for some time. Chiron is also moving close to its natal position, a once in lifetime occurrence and amidst all the drama of the last months a profound healing is occuring, has occured.
The real sign of a inner healing is when people react differently to you through no prompting. This is what occured. Its never happened before so to have three strikes in one night means something. The other astrological thing happening was that Uranus had just moved into Aries. Uranus is the key to me in many ways and it moving into a fire sign was bound to have some effect. What exactly I am not sure except that people seemed to want to connect spontaneously with me. This seems to be gathering momentum. Nothing dramatic or extraordinary just a noticeable change in the way people seem t operceive me . I feel more energized and focused. Things are moving slower then I would like and they are moving.
Astrologically Neptune is still sitting opposite my Sun and this is dissolving any defensiveness I have. I feel more opened up and aware and for want of better words spiritual then I have for some time. Chiron is also moving close to its natal position, a once in lifetime occurrence and amidst all the drama of the last months a profound healing is occuring, has occured.
The real sign of a inner healing is when people react differently to you through no prompting. This is what occured. Its never happened before so to have three strikes in one night means something. The other astrological thing happening was that Uranus had just moved into Aries. Uranus is the key to me in many ways and it moving into a fire sign was bound to have some effect. What exactly I am not sure except that people seemed to want to connect spontaneously with me. This seems to be gathering momentum. Nothing dramatic or extraordinary just a noticeable change in the way people seem t operceive me . I feel more energized and focused. Things are moving slower then I would like and they are moving.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
creating
Im a classic Uranian. l ike to do things my way. The control freak shadow I carry is well hidden but gets in the way. Dying to things and letting go is the only way the biggger picture, the cosmos or the great spirit gets a chance to work with me and through me. Alchemical carnivale died because I have been holding on too tightly...wondering why nothings happening??
We all create our own realities!
So I have let go and my intuition is saying it will reemerge in a differnt form. For now I need to just get involved with otheres for a time, get to know more people , relax, give out freely, do peoples charts and trust that the work and the money will flow in. Its already started... and do the propsal for Carnivale at Southbank. Oops I have really been avoiding this one! This option or opening has frozen me and created a crisis thats been hiding behind other more obvious crisis in my life. They are all connected. Nothing happening in my life because I have been too scared to commit to grounding the proposal and facing my fears around it. I will begin. Make it happen .
We all create our own realities!
So I have let go and my intuition is saying it will reemerge in a differnt form. For now I need to just get involved with otheres for a time, get to know more people , relax, give out freely, do peoples charts and trust that the work and the money will flow in. Its already started... and do the propsal for Carnivale at Southbank. Oops I have really been avoiding this one! This option or opening has frozen me and created a crisis thats been hiding behind other more obvious crisis in my life. They are all connected. Nothing happening in my life because I have been too scared to commit to grounding the proposal and facing my fears around it. I will begin. Make it happen .
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
dying
I feel small. Like I have shrunk... I feel lost. I really thought the alchemical carnivale was a great idea that would really take off...it is and yet i have been unable to do anything with it. This saddens me immeasurably. I have to let it die now. i cant do any more at his time in my life.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
transition
My couch surfing continues...Ive been stubbornly holding out out for my true work to arrrive. Days of eating only bread and water, moments of despair and healing , minor miracles occur, minor breakthroughs and integration. A backlog of stories to write. Miss my boys down the Gold Coast badly. Longing for some stability, a halfway normal life of money, food and shelter.Wondering why my talents are wasted when the earth is dying. Hoping, hoping, hoping for a big breakthrough, wondering when the revolution will begin in australia. Writing lots on paper, no time to get it on to a computer...frustrations galore and moments of acceptance.
Lots of performing on the streets has taught me me invaluable lessons and brought me to the brink of exhaustion. Walking ,walking, walking...then fainting at war memorial late at night. Emotionally, spiritually and physically overwhelmed by the spirits of the dead in that place. Reflecting on the sacrifices made...then coming too on the concrete, bruised, bleeding and bewildered. Really, really scared, feeling that death had brushed me closely.
A nightmare about facing death and it transforming at the last moment.
Wondering about giving up my idealism and going on the dole getting a brain dead job to pay off mounting debts. Hungry all the time, determined to keep going. Keep beleiving, keep hoping, keep the faith. Sad and lonely, feeling misunderstood, feeling crazy, wanting to hide. Feeling strong and inspired, tested and true. Reflecting lots on family curses and how to break them. Watching the birds, crows, magpies and bugs. Synchronicities occur. Clarity about my writing project emerging after a day of despair. Drowning the bible and feeding country ritual done in two parts. Finished yesterday...seemed to break the spell. Opened the gates to write about what I know, not theory.Wanting t obecome a healer not a counsellor. Wanting my own healing soooo bad. Wanting to heal this nation and our beautifual world...
Lots of performing on the streets has taught me me invaluable lessons and brought me to the brink of exhaustion. Walking ,walking, walking...then fainting at war memorial late at night. Emotionally, spiritually and physically overwhelmed by the spirits of the dead in that place. Reflecting on the sacrifices made...then coming too on the concrete, bruised, bleeding and bewildered. Really, really scared, feeling that death had brushed me closely.
A nightmare about facing death and it transforming at the last moment.
Wondering about giving up my idealism and going on the dole getting a brain dead job to pay off mounting debts. Hungry all the time, determined to keep going. Keep beleiving, keep hoping, keep the faith. Sad and lonely, feeling misunderstood, feeling crazy, wanting to hide. Feeling strong and inspired, tested and true. Reflecting lots on family curses and how to break them. Watching the birds, crows, magpies and bugs. Synchronicities occur. Clarity about my writing project emerging after a day of despair. Drowning the bible and feeding country ritual done in two parts. Finished yesterday...seemed to break the spell. Opened the gates to write about what I know, not theory.Wanting t obecome a healer not a counsellor. Wanting my own healing soooo bad. Wanting to heal this nation and our beautifual world...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
floods
So much has happened since i last blogged, death of realtionship, floods in brisbane and more. I am couch surfing so rarely able to get to a computer. Theres a backlog of writing sitting inside me. The main reflection I have is that Brisbane has been wounded, the soul of the city is wounded and and hurting and needs strong medicine. This is the moment of alchemical carnivale. I beleive its the communitty healing process that has arrived at the right moment. Lets wait and see as I knock on doors. I can foresee a renaisance, a rebirth , a creative eruption coming from this moment.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
death my teacher
I have never brought the myth of rationalism. I have just had too many experiences that point to a larger power at work that can not be comprehended by the rational mind. On numerous occasions i have just known something that subsequently proves to be true. I think this knowing comes fro m being close to death. Death is perhaps the greatest teacher. By the time I was 18 I had come close to death 5 times. During my birth, when I was about 3 years old and was hospitalised for gastroenteritis, twice in the same day whilst surfing at 15 and whilst driving at 17.
The last 3 shook me to my core in different ways and sent me on a search for meaning and purpose in life. If I could be wiped off the face of the earth so quickly at almost any moment what was the point of life. Why bother keep going? It struck me that no amount of strength or money or anything really made any difference. Life was intensely precarious and could end at any moment. I begun to read spiritual and mystical literature that was in the air at the time. Jonathon Livingstone Seagull stands out.
At 16 I had a big dream. I was standing on a large headland looking out across a bay. It was a Summers day and the air was hot and dry. I was surrounded by tall gum trees. I looked across the water to the other side of the bay. Perhaps a kilometre away I heard a loud cracking, crashing noise and watched a avalanche of trees fall down the slope on the other side of the bay. Instead of falling into the water they were carried by a wind across the bay towards me. This is full sized gum trees being blown across the water likes they were dry leaves. I stood rooted to the spot mesmerised. The wind and trees came up and over the top of me. Gum trees cartwheeled across the sky above me. I was awestruck and completely terrified and woke my chest wet with sweat.
Perhaps a year or so later I read the New Testament and came across the passage in the Acts of the Apostles where on the day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit come like a loud rushing wind. At that time I felt that I had met this wind myself. Now I would interpret it as Uranus but we will get to that later. It affirmed the commitment I was making to Christianity. I knew the Holy Spirit and its power. Then perhaps a little later I read through the Old Testament trying to make sense of what my role was within the christian faith. I felt energised and on fire but I was unsure how to express myself fully.Then I read the first chapter of Jeremiah.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
And before you were born I consecrated you: I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.
Then I said Alas Lord God!
Behold, I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth.
But the Lord said to me,
Do not say, I am a youth.
Because everywhere I send you , you shall go,
And all that I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
For I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.
Then the Lord stretched out his hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me,
Behold , I have appointed you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms,
To pluck up and to break down,
To destroy and to overthrow,
To build and to plant...
Later I read the prophet Isaiah and a passage that says,
Behold I will do a new thing , can you not yet perceive it?
Both these passages seemed to resonate with something already inside me. I felt that they spoke to me. I am basically a shy person and even at that age I knew this was not the sort of thing you spoke about in public. In twenty years I shared it with only two people. In the past ten years its been about 3 more people. The last time was about two years ago with two African pastors. I had left the church twenty years ago and lost my faith. Under pressure in relationship I attempted to build a bridge back to Christianity. The Africans certainly have more life and vitality in their church but scratch the surface and the same rigid bullshit that seems to strangely pervade Christian institutions is there. Naive me shared this dream and they both interpreted as being about witches? Totally missing the point. It wasn't about flying trees(witches) it was about the wind! The powerfully focused wind. It wasn't a out of control cyclone destroying the landscape. It was more like a performance! Hey look at what I can do, I can scare the living daylights out of you I am so powerful!
Anyway I have ignored my prophetic calling as I call it it for years at a time, tried to rationalize it away, psychologize it away. But it wont leave me. I didn't get a booming voice or a white light, nothing, just a inner knowing that has never left. Keeping it secret has almost sent me to the edge of madness. It has prevented me from living a conventional life and enjoying many facets of life that are there to be enjoyed. It has felt like a curse that has set me apart from other people. It has pulled me up and out of life attempting to get that wider perspective: over the nations. Crazy!! Really crazy! No work, no matter how challenging, interesting or well paid has fulfilled me because always in the back of my mind or pushed down into unconsciousness is the nagging sense that, no this is not my true work, my true work is to be a prophet to the nations or at least something larger then counselling or teaching or just making money like 99% of the people. No have this crazy calling I have to follow, that wont let me go! Its brought poverty, marriage and relationship breakups. My family, my kids cant work it out. I haven't been able to keep friends or get close to many people. Its stopped me from travelling and doing so many things that I would of loved to do. And how do I explain without sounding like a complete religious nut.
Maybe if I was born in another culture or time this calling would of been recognised and celebrated but in secular postmodern sceptical Australia I have chosen to keep quiet about it.
No more.
First Jungian and then archetypal psychology and archetypal astrology has helped me to make sense of it and finally now accept it. The biggest thing that has helped me was reading Paranoia by James Hillman the fantastic Jungian Psychologist. Everything he writes is great. In this work he discerns the fine line between madness and revelation. Madness is taking this stuff literally, revelation is approaching it poetically. No I don't have the power given to me by Yahweh to destroy nations. I have never felt that and I have always recognised that if I believed that I was a complete fruitcake. To take it seriously in that fashion would set me on the path to being another Hitler or to end up in the Psychiatric ward. Poetically I have finally begun to be able to live with it. I was born i n1962 when the sixties really came alive. Uranus the revolutionary God also a wind god and ruler of electricity(my dream was shocking!) and sudden erratic changes etc was coming up close to Pluto the god of the underworld, Volcanoes, death and rebirth, transformation. My Sun in Leo known for being into big dramatic statement is sitting right behind Uranus and on the other side is mercury the one who translates all this energy and transmits it into words and stories and images. Its one hell of a combination. I've always been shy about talking about it . But it just is.Its been a great curse so far and its time to turn it into a blessing. My ego that want to say but I am a youth, I don't know what to say...wheres the money going to come from, what will people think of me ...blah, blah, blah...has finally died or gotten enough out of the way to let the larger self or really the Gods to work together cooperatively with me. To be philosophical I have been lucky I had such of a God damned, stubborn, granite hard, ego that been able to hold this much power and energy at bay and not flip over into complete madness. I survived! Phew.
Deep breath Jeff ...you can do it.
So that brings me to tonight. The new moon in Capricorn falls almost exactly on Australia's Sun -Saturn complex. On one side is Pluto slowly moving bringing death and transformation and rebirth on the other side is mars, fiery warrior energy as well as all the other stuff happening at this moment in our collective zeitgeist. Pluto squaring Uranus and Jupiter. Uranus and Jupiter married in Pisces. Neptune and Chiron married in Aquarius. Its a full on moment in time and the energy is focused like a laser beam on Australia. I never know how these things will work out but everything in me says this is my moment and its a unique moment in Australia's history and lest we forget world history.
I drowned my bible today all except the Jeremiah passage. I got he idea from Shakespeare. I read the Tempest years ago and in the end Prospero the sort of power mad magician breaks his staff and drowns his book. To me its about making the literal metaphoric or loosening it up. The bible is soooooo heavy! No wonder no one wants to read it these days and we need to read it but in a new way Astrologically and alchemically.... And then I will bury it. Or I think of it it as feeding country. It contains all those stories from another place and my bible carries all my mana, my handling of it, my hopes and dreams that its fed. I want to feed it back into the earth and let it transform . To form a circle that's larger then me. There's a truck load of symbolic stuff in there that I think will unfold over time. Then I believe my true work can begin. I don't want to go around calling myself a prophet, the name doesn't matter its the accepting of the work. Stepping into the role that's important. besides i think Jeff the Catalyst sums it up for me. I think the ritual will free me to begin my true work , my calling. I think finally, finally , finally, after a thousand false starts and dead ends it can begin.
The last 3 shook me to my core in different ways and sent me on a search for meaning and purpose in life. If I could be wiped off the face of the earth so quickly at almost any moment what was the point of life. Why bother keep going? It struck me that no amount of strength or money or anything really made any difference. Life was intensely precarious and could end at any moment. I begun to read spiritual and mystical literature that was in the air at the time. Jonathon Livingstone Seagull stands out.
At 16 I had a big dream. I was standing on a large headland looking out across a bay. It was a Summers day and the air was hot and dry. I was surrounded by tall gum trees. I looked across the water to the other side of the bay. Perhaps a kilometre away I heard a loud cracking, crashing noise and watched a avalanche of trees fall down the slope on the other side of the bay. Instead of falling into the water they were carried by a wind across the bay towards me. This is full sized gum trees being blown across the water likes they were dry leaves. I stood rooted to the spot mesmerised. The wind and trees came up and over the top of me. Gum trees cartwheeled across the sky above me. I was awestruck and completely terrified and woke my chest wet with sweat.
Perhaps a year or so later I read the New Testament and came across the passage in the Acts of the Apostles where on the day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit come like a loud rushing wind. At that time I felt that I had met this wind myself. Now I would interpret it as Uranus but we will get to that later. It affirmed the commitment I was making to Christianity. I knew the Holy Spirit and its power. Then perhaps a little later I read through the Old Testament trying to make sense of what my role was within the christian faith. I felt energised and on fire but I was unsure how to express myself fully.Then I read the first chapter of Jeremiah.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
And before you were born I consecrated you: I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.
Then I said Alas Lord God!
Behold, I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth.
But the Lord said to me,
Do not say, I am a youth.
Because everywhere I send you , you shall go,
And all that I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
For I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.
Then the Lord stretched out his hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me,
Behold , I have appointed you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms,
To pluck up and to break down,
To destroy and to overthrow,
To build and to plant...
Later I read the prophet Isaiah and a passage that says,
Behold I will do a new thing , can you not yet perceive it?
Both these passages seemed to resonate with something already inside me. I felt that they spoke to me. I am basically a shy person and even at that age I knew this was not the sort of thing you spoke about in public. In twenty years I shared it with only two people. In the past ten years its been about 3 more people. The last time was about two years ago with two African pastors. I had left the church twenty years ago and lost my faith. Under pressure in relationship I attempted to build a bridge back to Christianity. The Africans certainly have more life and vitality in their church but scratch the surface and the same rigid bullshit that seems to strangely pervade Christian institutions is there. Naive me shared this dream and they both interpreted as being about witches? Totally missing the point. It wasn't about flying trees(witches) it was about the wind! The powerfully focused wind. It wasn't a out of control cyclone destroying the landscape. It was more like a performance! Hey look at what I can do, I can scare the living daylights out of you I am so powerful!
Anyway I have ignored my prophetic calling as I call it it for years at a time, tried to rationalize it away, psychologize it away. But it wont leave me. I didn't get a booming voice or a white light, nothing, just a inner knowing that has never left. Keeping it secret has almost sent me to the edge of madness. It has prevented me from living a conventional life and enjoying many facets of life that are there to be enjoyed. It has felt like a curse that has set me apart from other people. It has pulled me up and out of life attempting to get that wider perspective: over the nations. Crazy!! Really crazy! No work, no matter how challenging, interesting or well paid has fulfilled me because always in the back of my mind or pushed down into unconsciousness is the nagging sense that, no this is not my true work, my true work is to be a prophet to the nations or at least something larger then counselling or teaching or just making money like 99% of the people. No have this crazy calling I have to follow, that wont let me go! Its brought poverty, marriage and relationship breakups. My family, my kids cant work it out. I haven't been able to keep friends or get close to many people. Its stopped me from travelling and doing so many things that I would of loved to do. And how do I explain without sounding like a complete religious nut.
Maybe if I was born in another culture or time this calling would of been recognised and celebrated but in secular postmodern sceptical Australia I have chosen to keep quiet about it.
No more.
First Jungian and then archetypal psychology and archetypal astrology has helped me to make sense of it and finally now accept it. The biggest thing that has helped me was reading Paranoia by James Hillman the fantastic Jungian Psychologist. Everything he writes is great. In this work he discerns the fine line between madness and revelation. Madness is taking this stuff literally, revelation is approaching it poetically. No I don't have the power given to me by Yahweh to destroy nations. I have never felt that and I have always recognised that if I believed that I was a complete fruitcake. To take it seriously in that fashion would set me on the path to being another Hitler or to end up in the Psychiatric ward. Poetically I have finally begun to be able to live with it. I was born i n1962 when the sixties really came alive. Uranus the revolutionary God also a wind god and ruler of electricity(my dream was shocking!) and sudden erratic changes etc was coming up close to Pluto the god of the underworld, Volcanoes, death and rebirth, transformation. My Sun in Leo known for being into big dramatic statement is sitting right behind Uranus and on the other side is mercury the one who translates all this energy and transmits it into words and stories and images. Its one hell of a combination. I've always been shy about talking about it . But it just is.Its been a great curse so far and its time to turn it into a blessing. My ego that want to say but I am a youth, I don't know what to say...wheres the money going to come from, what will people think of me ...blah, blah, blah...has finally died or gotten enough out of the way to let the larger self or really the Gods to work together cooperatively with me. To be philosophical I have been lucky I had such of a God damned, stubborn, granite hard, ego that been able to hold this much power and energy at bay and not flip over into complete madness. I survived! Phew.
Deep breath Jeff ...you can do it.
So that brings me to tonight. The new moon in Capricorn falls almost exactly on Australia's Sun -Saturn complex. On one side is Pluto slowly moving bringing death and transformation and rebirth on the other side is mars, fiery warrior energy as well as all the other stuff happening at this moment in our collective zeitgeist. Pluto squaring Uranus and Jupiter. Uranus and Jupiter married in Pisces. Neptune and Chiron married in Aquarius. Its a full on moment in time and the energy is focused like a laser beam on Australia. I never know how these things will work out but everything in me says this is my moment and its a unique moment in Australia's history and lest we forget world history.
I drowned my bible today all except the Jeremiah passage. I got he idea from Shakespeare. I read the Tempest years ago and in the end Prospero the sort of power mad magician breaks his staff and drowns his book. To me its about making the literal metaphoric or loosening it up. The bible is soooooo heavy! No wonder no one wants to read it these days and we need to read it but in a new way Astrologically and alchemically.... And then I will bury it. Or I think of it it as feeding country. It contains all those stories from another place and my bible carries all my mana, my handling of it, my hopes and dreams that its fed. I want to feed it back into the earth and let it transform . To form a circle that's larger then me. There's a truck load of symbolic stuff in there that I think will unfold over time. Then I believe my true work can begin. I don't want to go around calling myself a prophet, the name doesn't matter its the accepting of the work. Stepping into the role that's important. besides i think Jeff the Catalyst sums it up for me. I think the ritual will free me to begin my true work , my calling. I think finally, finally , finally, after a thousand false starts and dead ends it can begin.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
social electricity
I started my working life as an electrician but was no good at it. Now, many years later I think a lot about our addiction, our lust for more power, electricity. I wonder if we need to focus on creating social and cultural electricity. The electricity, the buzz that happens between people. I see Alchemical Carnivale as being a space to create social electricity. To turn up the buzzz between people. That buzz is contagious and life enhancing.
maps
Walking to a friends place in New Farm last night I stopped and asked 3 tow truck drivers if they knew where the street was. Now the odds are fairly high that a tow truck driver will know the area like the back of his hand, much like a taxi driver. I asked and no immediate recognition of the name...thats cool one of them is sitting in the drivers seat with a small global positioning system GPS in front of him. Now I am not a fan of the GPS as I would rather find my own way and look around the enviroment for landmarks as I go. Once I have found my way once its much easier the next time. I forget names and numbers but I never forget landmarks. The places enter my internal map. The map in my brain I guess. But on this occasion ...its thank God for the GPS the problem should be solved in seconds. No, he types in the name and then stares at the screen ...and stares at the screen. It must be complicated and out of the way I think. A back street that needs endless turns, right, then left, then go two streets then right again and go around the roundabout twice backwards, say the majic word etc.
I think about asking can I have a look on the screen but I dont feel too invited into there space. I make small talk with the others. One says joking we are top class tow truck drivers we only use GPS.
I get pen and paper ready for a set of complex instructions.
One of them mentions theres a street directory in the other truck. Noone moves to get it. Eventually after what must of been an awkward ten minutes Mr GPS says, ahhh its close by just walk up to next set of lights turn left(its Brunswick street a mainroad) and then keep walking you will hit it.
And it was simple to find. I will never forget how to find it.
I am convinced we are giving away skills, abilities and ways of thinking and remembering to our technology. Technology has become a drug that is blinding us to our living, breathing world.
I think about asking can I have a look on the screen but I dont feel too invited into there space. I make small talk with the others. One says joking we are top class tow truck drivers we only use GPS.
I get pen and paper ready for a set of complex instructions.
One of them mentions theres a street directory in the other truck. Noone moves to get it. Eventually after what must of been an awkward ten minutes Mr GPS says, ahhh its close by just walk up to next set of lights turn left(its Brunswick street a mainroad) and then keep walking you will hit it.
And it was simple to find. I will never forget how to find it.
I am convinced we are giving away skills, abilities and ways of thinking and remembering to our technology. Technology has become a drug that is blinding us to our living, breathing world.
burial
I buried the magpie in the garden. It was being kept in a esky in the garage (the alchemical shed)whilst I thought what to do with it. A friend, shamanic Sheridan, said I should ask for permission to work with it and then cut it open and dry it out with salt and not let anyone else touch it. I had thought of getting another friend Kristy to make jewellry with the beak and talons and feathers. Sheridans suggestions sounded good, respectful and deepening of my relationships with the spirit of birds.
In the space of 4 days I discovered it was crawling with maggots and leaking very stinky fluid. This was in a sealed esky? I had contemplated Sheridans idea and decided a burial was more fitting. I respect traditions and laws especially sacred ones and rarely follow them. I tend to trust my intuition to guide me and I like to improvise. The burial was to be more elaborate and at a vacant block up the road But it became swifter. With a kitchen spoon I dug in the garden. Rich black soil full of black ants. Laid the bird down then added a Frida Kahlo mask that had been leaked on. It was made especially for my friend and indigenous artist Megan Cope. It seemed fitting and perfect. A few flowers and dirt on top and a ritual pissing. Finished with a concrete paving stone I had painted laid on top. Done. It felt complete.
In the space of 4 days I discovered it was crawling with maggots and leaking very stinky fluid. This was in a sealed esky? I had contemplated Sheridans idea and decided a burial was more fitting. I respect traditions and laws especially sacred ones and rarely follow them. I tend to trust my intuition to guide me and I like to improvise. The burial was to be more elaborate and at a vacant block up the road But it became swifter. With a kitchen spoon I dug in the garden. Rich black soil full of black ants. Laid the bird down then added a Frida Kahlo mask that had been leaked on. It was made especially for my friend and indigenous artist Megan Cope. It seemed fitting and perfect. A few flowers and dirt on top and a ritual pissing. Finished with a concrete paving stone I had painted laid on top. Done. It felt complete.
To the once and future rule breakers
Ive had a book about my vision and hope for Australia brewing for a solid ten, 15, 20, perhaps 30 years now. I've made a number of serious attempts all to no end. Its been a learning process. This time feels different. I feel ripe.
I feel that I have found my voice.
On New years eve I went to Southbank with my two nephews to watch the fire works. I've thought about what it would be like to be the King of Australia, like Ulysses and to have been in exile, or in jail perhaps for 30 years and then to return unknown. To look at everyone, every single person as someone in your care. Not to take literal responsibility for everyone like a pseudo saviour no thats the sure sign of a psychosis. No...I am just Jeff and I was imagining what it would be like. In Astrology the King or the Queen is symbolised by the Sun. We all have a part of us that feels royal and is royal. Though I must admit I dont really associate much with that word.
In the chart of Australia, the Federation, the Sun is in Capricorn. It's conjunct Saturn which is a bit like having your King, your royal part in chains. Theres more to it then that and at the same time this seems to fit for Australia.
So I was wondering what if I let my Sun, the energy thats central for me expand and join the Sun of the nation. Its like a marraige, a commitment to work together and keep the larger whole in mind. I looked at people differently. I felt a mixture of things. I certainly didnt feel above people. Their seemed to be a connection with the death of the magpie, the death of the bird like part of me that likes to fly up and stay above the fray of everday life. It felt right and has freed me to write. Its flowing.
Then next day I was reading the Oddysey and theres the part where he has returned to his family home and its under a sort of seige by a bunch of dickhead suitors. He is enraged, to the point where his blood is boiling and his skin is peeling like a burnt sausage. I could relate to this rage, this fury. The world let alone Australia is going down the plughole and our leaders are pontificating in management speak. Our children are being moly-coddled indoors, kept safe from all signs of dirt and danger. Spoon fed technology. Most of us are sucking on the technological tittie, twittering our lives away in front of a screen whilst the real life twittters and twerps of living species is ignored metres away outside.
I could continue but I dont want to rave about the stuff I hate, I'd rather focus on what I love, and what I hope and dream of the future. The volcanic eruption of all our buried shit is the beggining and we have a lot of it in Australia. This year the eruption will begin. Its begun. The writing of the book will be a small part of that and only then can the healing and the new direction emerge or maybe they are more intertwined?
The title Australia: To the once and future rule breakers, came to me this morning. It feels right. I will use the blog as thinking out loud. I want to get a draft done in one month and the final version done in 3 months. I need a tight time frame. It will be an astrological , alchemical reading of the moment and Australia's potential role in the future world order. I will weave my own biography, stories and theories. Just gotta do it.
I feel that I have found my voice.
On New years eve I went to Southbank with my two nephews to watch the fire works. I've thought about what it would be like to be the King of Australia, like Ulysses and to have been in exile, or in jail perhaps for 30 years and then to return unknown. To look at everyone, every single person as someone in your care. Not to take literal responsibility for everyone like a pseudo saviour no thats the sure sign of a psychosis. No...I am just Jeff and I was imagining what it would be like. In Astrology the King or the Queen is symbolised by the Sun. We all have a part of us that feels royal and is royal. Though I must admit I dont really associate much with that word.
In the chart of Australia, the Federation, the Sun is in Capricorn. It's conjunct Saturn which is a bit like having your King, your royal part in chains. Theres more to it then that and at the same time this seems to fit for Australia.
So I was wondering what if I let my Sun, the energy thats central for me expand and join the Sun of the nation. Its like a marraige, a commitment to work together and keep the larger whole in mind. I looked at people differently. I felt a mixture of things. I certainly didnt feel above people. Their seemed to be a connection with the death of the magpie, the death of the bird like part of me that likes to fly up and stay above the fray of everday life. It felt right and has freed me to write. Its flowing.
Then next day I was reading the Oddysey and theres the part where he has returned to his family home and its under a sort of seige by a bunch of dickhead suitors. He is enraged, to the point where his blood is boiling and his skin is peeling like a burnt sausage. I could relate to this rage, this fury. The world let alone Australia is going down the plughole and our leaders are pontificating in management speak. Our children are being moly-coddled indoors, kept safe from all signs of dirt and danger. Spoon fed technology. Most of us are sucking on the technological tittie, twittering our lives away in front of a screen whilst the real life twittters and twerps of living species is ignored metres away outside.
I could continue but I dont want to rave about the stuff I hate, I'd rather focus on what I love, and what I hope and dream of the future. The volcanic eruption of all our buried shit is the beggining and we have a lot of it in Australia. This year the eruption will begin. Its begun. The writing of the book will be a small part of that and only then can the healing and the new direction emerge or maybe they are more intertwined?
The title Australia: To the once and future rule breakers, came to me this morning. It feels right. I will use the blog as thinking out loud. I want to get a draft done in one month and the final version done in 3 months. I need a tight time frame. It will be an astrological , alchemical reading of the moment and Australia's potential role in the future world order. I will weave my own biography, stories and theories. Just gotta do it.
erupt
The Mysterius Doctor Mercurius has officially declared 2011 as the year of the volcanoe.
Its time to erupt folks, spread the word its time to erupt.
Bring on the Australian eruption!
Its time to erupt folks, spread the word its time to erupt.
Bring on the Australian eruption!
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